Blah, blah, blah

It's definately a blah kind of day. I'm not feeling too bad but mentally blah, blah, blah. It was raining and chilly today - made me want to just nap. I felt like I should be doing things though because I wasn't as nauseous. Oh well - I just do what I can. Right now the cat keeps waving her butt in front of me so I'm going to stop trying to use my computer. There's only so much a girl can handle.......

Cancer Girl still standing

Cancer_Girl
Originally uploaded by redworcd

Little g took this photo of me and bob. Just to let you know we are still here and hanging on. I'm sharing some pictures today. I have to get a few more ready but that will have to wait until tomorrow. Chemo brain is rearing it's ugly head......

Perspectives

little_g
Originally uploaded by redworcd

I've decided to try and change my perspective again. I've been focusing on feeling crappy and it's getting awfully boring. So This day is dedicated to things I'm grateful for (even if I feel too blechy to appreciate them fully.)

First up is little_g. My great- nephew who doesn't seem to mind my hairlessness. He can't really talk anyway - I have more eyebrows than he does. He works his better though.

For when I'm feeling French

William_model_01
Originally uploaded by redworcd

Lisa and/or her Mom made me this lovely beret type hat. I had my sister's dog William model it because he looks much cuter than me. I'm not sure how comfortable I am with having too many images out there with my chemo look. Luckily William is a great model if only his sister Gracie could stay out of the way.

He looks pretty dapper to me. I'm not sure why he has that scared look. Bacardi (my dog) wasn't any where around.......

Matching Ascot - Yeah baby!

William_model_02
Originally uploaded by redworcd

Susan made this one. It's a tad bit snug - like a perfect fit snug. I haven't tried the matching ascot on though.

Little Red Chemo Hood

William_model_03
Originally uploaded by redworcd

Susan made this one. I like the red/white polka dot. It has 3 buttons in the front but Gracey stuck her head in the way. William looks awfully cute though. It does keep my neck warm also.

Susan's Mom made this!

William_model_04
Originally uploaded by redworcd

I actually have worn this hat around the house. It kind of gives me the feeling of hair. The color is just a bit too, too.... something. ;)

What the heck is going on with the heat...

It's 11:20 am and it's 81 degrees outside. I'm telling you I will start thinking conspiracy if the next time I have chemo it's warm out. It should be in the 70's - 60's even. Not this 81 and humid junk. I'm not feeling that bad but the heat is getting to me and I'm having a hard time sleeping again. I woke up last night at 1am and tthen couldn't fall back asleep until 3:30. I've read all my books so I'm bored out of my mind.

We've got the air on (in September - crazy) so maybe now I can take a nap. I need to clean up the house too but I'm not feeling that at the moment.

ALl in all it's much much better than last time so I shouldn't complain.

Third times a charm

Well so far this round is going a bit better than last time. Sandy and I hit the mountain and everything. I have no money to buy anything but still....

No real nausea either. Usually it doesn't get bad until I'm done with the exceptionally expensive Emend medication so that will probably hit on Monday. The only other thiing to note is that I am very warm. It's not too hot out and it's raining but I have my fan on. Well off to lay down for a bit.

SO far so good.

Holding Steady

Now I can really say I'm halfway thru this chemo junk. My third treatment will be Friday and I admit I'm nervous. I've been really tired this last time but that could have something to do with me pushing myself to get stuff done. Now I am just in stay healthy/stay sane mode. I'm out of work right now. I was limited in what I could do with all those sick people around and bored out of my skull. Also I think if you start seriously considering buying an air bed for work you need to just step back and rethink things. :)

I am nervous about Friday. I have to remember to bring some popsicles with me. They have you eat something ice cold to try and help with the metallic mouth thing and last time I was having a hard time eating the ice chips. In fact the thought of ice in my drink makes me feel nauseous.

I did have a dream the other night that there were a couple of cancer cells floating around in my body. It was one of those weird dreams where things don't make absolute sense but my viewpoint was from inside my body and these cells were just like floating along. Kind of like they were on one of those river raft rides. I was thinking in my head "those bastards!" and that's about all I remember. So I guess it's a good reminder why I'm going thru chemo. Time to get those bastards once and for all.............

Happy Labor Day

Or is it Merry?

I don't know but I'm having a better day than last time. Nothing like cleaning out the bathroom to cheer someone up. Just imagine if you took all the things related to hair out of your bathroom. Funny huh? I did just that yesterday and I ended up with a box full of hairbands and curlers and hot irons etc. I bagged up the shampoo and style products. It was eye opening for sure. I "normally" have curly hair and just would let it dry by itself. So why do I have have 4 curling irons, a set of hot rollers, straightening iron, 5 brushes, 7 combs (if you have curly hair you really don't brush it that often.) and untold amounts of ponytail holders and barrettes. I'm still wondering why I put them all in a box in the garage. I know me enough to know once I get hair again I am going to want to buy new things. Especially since people say your hair can end up different than when you started chemo.

I really do think that once this cancer treatment stuff is done - it's going to be more than my body that's been scrubbed clean. My brain is having a hard time holding on to these odd perceptions I've had of myself. Hmmmmmm......