Things don't always go as you planned....

I had signed up for the Look Good.....Feel Better program for Monday but instead spent the morning getting my tire fixed and my car inspected. The two back tires aren't that old but for some reason they just could not keep air in them. Anthony's friend Mark noticed someone (I think it was me - cancergirl) drove on the tire while it was flat. Anthony filled it back up but it still popped on him just the same. Thank God for Goodyear - they were nice enough to squeeze me in. The guy Steve also was saavy enough to mention my other tire was going to need to be replaced and he noticed my inspection was due at the end of this month. Normally I'd feel like a scam was going to try and part me with my money but this time I felt grateful that he thought of things that I obviously wasn't. After the work was done and I got my bill - I told him I just started chemo and that I really did appreciate him bringing up the other extras as I didn't need to worry about them right now. Which I most likely would have had to if I hadn't taken care of them right then.

I'm a very lucky girl right now. I have a great support team in place. Better than I could ever have imagined. All the doctors and medical staff that I have dealt with for the most part have been exceptionally nice and helpful. (Don't bring up the misplaced appt with Sandy...) My family and friends have been extra supportive especially Sandy with her endless patience so far with all my visits. I admit to being a bit superstitious about wanting her there when I go for new appointments. People tell me I'm brave and courageous when many times I've felt like crying and stomping my foot "NO!" The girls I work with are always concerned and I can feel them behind me saying Go Donna Go. (Or more recently "Are you sure you're supposed to be doing that?")

Mainly though I feel like I need to go through this cancer treatment like my mom would have if they had actually found her cancer in time to treat it. I know my mother was brave while they did their tests. I know now how it feels to step up and let someone do something that you know will hurt you but it's something you've got to do. At least I know why they are doing what they do and it's not just random tests and biopsys like they're rummaging around in a drawer to see what they can find. There's a point to my treatment and I know what it is. My mother didn't have that. What my mother did have and what I hope to keep is her sense of humor. It's definately something I'm proud of when people say I remind them of her. (The cankles are a whole nother story.)